Parenting is a tricky task that requires patience and empathy. One of the most difficult things for parents is how to communicate with their kids. It is hard to convey something to a little one that may have a negative impact. The parent’s words can inspire or hurt them. So, pick words carefully to boost the child’s self-confidence.
There are some phrases that you should avoid saying to your child. They can be damaging, demotivating and may cause long-term emotional damage. Recent research shows that emotional abuse can change kids’ brain structure. Continue reading the post to learn ten things you should never say to your children!
1. You are a big disappointment
Disappointment is a valid emotion, but it can be hurtful when used repeatedly. If your child fails an exam, avoiding “disappointment” is important. Rather than expressing disappointment, try to encourage them by saying something like, “I know you can perform well.”
It is essential to understand why your child behaved in a certain way and guide them on changing their behavior.
2. Don’t speak with strangers
The traditional practice of instructing children not to speak to strangers has been passed down through generations of parents. However, this rule can have negative consequences, especially when children encounter someone who appears friendly and cautious.
To avoid this, it’s important to explain to children what to do if a stranger approaches them, either when they are with you or alone. Additionally, parents should educate their children on how to handle situations where strangers offer gifts, chocolates or seek help.
It’s worth noting that caution should be taken as some children may misunderstand the concept and refuse help from emergency responders, such as firefighters. Therefore, simply warning children about strangers may not be enough.
Using movies, short stories, and other materials can help parents explain the concept of strangers more effectively to their children.
3. Stop crying
Experts believe that crying is a necessary and natural process that can be cathartic. If your child is crying or upset, they don’t want to hear, “Don’t cry.” First, it doesn’t work. Second, it can make them feel like their emotions aren’t valid, and you miss an opportunity to bond with them.
If your child is upset, give them physical, emotional, and psychological comfort. Cuddle them, encourage them to express their emotions, and share their problems.
Use positive and comforting phrases such as “It’s okay to be upset,” “I’m here for you,” “You can share with me,” “We will sort it out together,” etc.
4. I am very busy
A survey has shown that four out of five parents have received complaints from their children about not spending enough time together.
Every child yearns for care and attention from their parents. If you cannot give them your undivided attention, it can make them feel rejected. Instead of saying, “I am very busy right now,” try to set aside some time to spend with your children.
Children love to share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences with their parents. Failing to give them your full attention can strain your relationship with them, and they may start looking for someone who will listen to them. Make it a priority to spend time with your kids regularly, listen to them, and show them that you value their company.
Investing quality time with your children can strengthen your relationship with them.
5. Avoid comparison with siblings
Parents often say, “Why can’t you be more like your sibling?” and unintentionally make the child jealous of their sibling. Comparing your child with their sibling or others can instill an inferiority complex and damage their self-confidence.
Every child is special and has unique skills. Instead of comparing them with their siblings, celebrate your children’s qualities and encourage them to develop their strengths.
6. Don’t use bad words
Using negative language, such as calling your child “stupid,” can create a rift between you and your child. This can lead them to seek validation from their friends instead of you. To prevent this, it’s important to use positive language and avoid derogatory terms.
Instead of using negative language, try using positive language to encourage and motivate your child. For example, telling them “you’re brilliant” or “you’re capable” can have a positive impact on their self-esteem and create a stronger bond between you and your child. When your child feels good after a conversation, they are more likely to seek your guidance and advice in the future.
7. You are lying to me
Children often make excuses and hide things from their parents but that doesn’t make the untruthful.
For example, suppose your child lies about missing tuition classes and you discover it when you run into the tutor in a shopping mall. What is your initial reaction? Confront them?
No, confronting them is not a good idea since your child will develop an advanced skill to hide from you, causing you problems in the future.
Here you need patience and work on your relationship with your kids. Tell them afterward that you ran into their instructor the other day. This information will alert them, and they may tell the truth. If they confide in you, do not condemn or reprimand them. Ask politely to share with you.
This way, you will develop a healthy and transparent relationship with your child. Your compassion and sensitivity will boost their trust in you and deter them from acting inappropriately.
8. Don’t scold your child publicly
Scolding the child in front of family, friends, and neighbors and saying things like “Finish your homework first, then watch dramas or play,” or “You cannot score good grades if you watch TV all the time” is a big no because it might cause them to rebel.
Make it a practice to convey your concerns or instructions to your youngster quietly. Embarrassing them in public may backfire. Spread influence amongst your child’s friends.
9. Don’t make me angry
If you blame your child for how you feel, It will exacerbate disconnections. Instead of stating, “Don’t irritate or anger me,” communicate your feelings properly. How you handle your emotions helps children build trust and teaches them about emotional regulation.
10. Avoid saying, “You are brilliant”
Avoid telling your child that you are brilliant. It will make your child overconfident and boost their ego. Overconfidence might cause issues between your child and their peers, obstructing their learning process.
Instead of saying, “You are brilliant,” you can say, “Wow,” o “Great job,” etc. It will encourage the child to do better while keeping them grounded.
Remember, parenting is a learning process, which means everybody makes mistakes. It is also about responsible behaviors, articulation, reasoning, and logical thinking. These tips are helpful and assist you in creating a positive environment for your kids. Offering a pleasant environment to your child will help build a brighter future for them.
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